I picked up a fare at a mall and I had to turn onto a very busy one-way street.

“We might be here awhile.” I said to my passenger, as the traffic was all backed up at a red light.

But when the light turned green, a pickup truck hung back, leaving a wide open spot.

“Awesome!” I said. “Finding a courteous driver in this money town is rare.”

I waved ‘thank you’ to the thoughtful motorist, as I zipped my taxi into the lane in front of him.

‘HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK’ The driver behind voices his extreme displeasure with his horn. It seems he wasn’t being nice. He was just slow and my taking advantage just rubbed his turtle pace into his face.

“Apparently those courteous drivers are still close to extinction.” I joked with my passenger.

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As a taxi driver, I spend my whole day observing other motorists. Often their middle fingers. It is no wonder that the accident rates are so high. Many people are driving around with a borderline case of road rage. Take this one case for example. I pulled into the pickup truck’s lane but I never slowed him up any more than he was already moving. So why did he honk so vehemently? I personally know why, but I’ll go into that in another post.

I do get bored with talking about the weather, and I even get sick of complaining about the traffic.  Humor is usually a good alternative but there are some taxi humor remarks in some situations that don’t always turn out out so well.

1.  When picking up someone while police / ambulance / fire sirens are heard in the background, don’t say ‘Get in quickly: it’s my taxi they’re chasing‘.

2. When a person of an ultra conservative religious sect notices that your (female/male) cross shift taxi driver’s permit does not match your gender, don’t say ‘That picture was taken before my sex-change operation‘.

3.  If the taxi dispatcher has informed you that you will need to have change for a (large denomination bill), don’t tell the customer that ‘Rumor has it that we’re supposed to drive around until the taxi meter reads (whatever the denomination amount)’.

I’ll post more of these as I think of them, remember them, or blow holes in more conversations.

Passengers suppose they can tell a taxi driver anything.  We are just anonymous ears that hear without ever telling.  But I never promiced that I wouldn’t spill my guts about them on the internet.  Well, I won’t use their real names — even if I actually know who they really are.  To a taxi driver, most people are just anonymous strangers too.